Always imagine what he or she will look like. Then I went into early menopause at 34 and never had kids. As a pro-life advocate, I've written and submitted many articles pertaining to abortion to our local newspaper. "But I could hear her cry. Im not ready for kids. I paced the bathroom, test in hand, pants still around my ankles, repeating curses to myself like a meditative mantra. The place we live doesnt have space for a baby and we are only just building our savings. My grief has been unbearable the past 5 days since I had the abortion. But I do not regret it. Every day I feel like a monster. She told me she was flattered but nothing could stop her from the abortion. I was 6 weeks when I went for an ultrasound .. and all I saw was a small blob that I referred to as my nugget. We argued and I prayed on it. SUBSCRIBE: $1 for 3 months. My pregnancy officially ended this evening and it hurts so bad, I feel so much sadness and loss, but I know my baby would not have had the life they deservedas difficult as it is to process, I know deep down that this was the right descision, this baby deserved so much more than I could give. How first and my first. I wish I wouldve bought her plan b or made sure she was taking her birth control but those options are completely out of reach now. So please mommy, don't let me down. Im not pregnant. I went into the first floor bathroom and peed on that little white-tipped stick. About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features Press Copyright Contact us Creators . I sit there like that until I hear the front door open and your dad walks in. Thankyou all for sharing your stories + most of all the letter to the little light. Just like our loved ones that preceded us. I wasnt going to tell him until I was so far along I could not abort but that sounds crazy. Thanks again for this though, I wish you the best and its great to know I am not alone. I begged mi amor to reconsider, I proposed to her 3 days before she had the abortion. Maybe you feel deep regret, maybe it was a confusing time, maybe you didn't care at all. And understand that by forcing your boyfriend to do something he isnt ready for you may ruin your relationship with him. Because I was born, because I can talk and breathe air and because you can visibly see me in front of your face, I had the "right" to take my first baby's life away. I instantly regretted it I changed my mind the day of my surgery but the nurse said I may have a miscarriage because I took the pill the day before . He abandoned me and hung up on me when I told him a few weeks ago. When I first found out I initially was a bit upset but over a few days I grew very attached. I hope I only delayed meeting my next little one instead of completely losing out on one unique beautiful baby, Thank you for sharing. I'll do my very best to be good. In her 2021 memoir, Teresa Leet shares her experiences in both having an abortion and placing her baby for adoption.While the abortion caused her years of emotional trauma, she has no regrets about choosing adoption.. A lack of knowledge about abortion. I move into the mini-counseling session with your dad, and we are firm on our decision. Eventually with some deep talks from my family I booked an appointment and decided it was best not to have the baby I had to have a surgical abortion at 16 weeks . Its been two years since my abortion and I always think about that little heart beat. I know you made the right decision for you! I miss my baby every minute of every day. And with this tornado in my mind, I wrapped the pee stick (that represented my fate) in toilet paper (which, I couldnt help thinking, was a pretty good metaphor for what was now my life). I found out I was pregnant October 1st. I want to keep the baby but then i feel like maybe i should get an abortion and give myself this chance to truly start over and fresh and cut ties with him other than coparenting. Again, I sleep in the same room as your dad that night, and when my alarm goes off, I get ready to take the bus to work. She was worth fighting for. Im so confused and torn between getting an abortion or keeping the baby. Im playing the song you listened to sobbing. I cant get the ultrasound picture or the thought of the potential of my baby out of my head. The first question the nurse asks is, What was the first day of your last period?, and I burst into tears. I personally cant do abortion nor adoption. This was so emotional ? In a recent post on the Reddit forum TwoXChromosomes, an anonymous user shared her feelings about her upcoming abortion: Little Thing: I can feel you in there. My husband is dead set against it and Im not sure what to do. Praying for all of you and I know now every situation is so different. But the six-week deadline contrasts starkly with early American abortion law, where the procedure was legal until "quickening"the first time a mother feels the baby kick, which can happen . I have a 13 year old with my boyfriend and we live together. When parents choose to terminate a pregnancy because of severe medical conditions in the baby, the medical procedure is technically a second-trimester abortion or a "late-term" abortionand it is technically elective because parents can choose whether to let nature take its course or to end the pregnancy. Wow I needed to read this. Im 27 years old and he is 32 years old. I wish you and your baby love and healthy lives your braver than I was I envy that, I had an abortion in April. I go to sleep the same way I have every night since I found out about you: heartbroken and tearful. I m a thai women but I moved to England to live with my husband , he is 34 years old and weve been together nearly 3 years. fTo tell you the truth I can't explain how happy I am to know that you are my mom. I think Ill visit an abortion clinic to avail of a medical abortion service because its difficult for me to survive if I have a child. And wham, I unexpectedly end up pregnant, at 41. I dont know where to go or what to research for. I felt you crying when you went to the doctor. I cough and drink more water until it goes down, close to you. She assures me, You dont have to do this. I tell her, I do. I compose myself. I loved this poem so much, it made me cry. It resonates and although Im still very sad, makes me feel more peaceful. My first pregnancy ended the relationship because I betrayed him, although he would never step down from his responsibilities , and thats how he made me feel. January 22, 2021 - The anniversary of Roe v Wade - 48 years of legal abortion in all fifty states. Im 18 and also 6 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend says I have to abort it. I read this the night before my appointment for my abortion. I dont have a strong conviction I can do this. It was hard but I dont regret it. I felt like death every day sometimes unable to stay out longer than 2 hours outside. My sister just found out she is pregnant and I congratulated her on the phone. You can do more than you think you can. I am unable to have children, so I will never know what it feels like, but I share your pain through the experiences of others. I was one l with you. I received my bachelors degree in adolescent counselling just last June. All of this is to saymom, you have a child, it's me. If you know you arent ready for this trust yourself. Someone please talk and guide me into a direction. I sat on the toilet and watched as my destiny-deciding urine diluted with water, coffee, and last nights wine crept across the screen. We started trying, but didnt expect it to come so soon. People will yawn when they are bored of you. Ill always be one. Ive just got an amazing job that I cant afford to give up, I suffered badly with my mental health the first time round. Fathers should never be bored of their children. So at 26 years old, on April 10th, 2015, just as I had for months prior, I took a pregnancy test because I was eight days late. I was 17 yrs old when I got pregnant, At that age I was not ready, alot of expectations from my parents await me plus the fact that I got pregnant by the person I dont love.so Ive decided to abort it by means of massage. and I have no clue what to do. We dont regret it. Unborn Child's letter to Mom !!! I miss my baby every day. My name is John, and. Im not mad at you anymore. Hi Kai And each month, when it decided to, my period came. I regret having the abortion because of many things and I ask hem to have another baby even if my situation was the same but he said he didnt want to have a baby he was hart broken every time he see kids he would say my baby wouldve been her or his age and that kills me inside I cry for so many nights and days I still do. We have been having the same unprotected sex as we were while still together. Couldnt take my meds or prenatals because the baby threw up everything. I loved you, my first, my only." The afternoon I found out I was pregnant with you was just like any other day waiting for my period: I was late. He puts his hand on my thigh and asks, What do you want to do? I ask him, What do you want to do? He replies, I want to do whatever you decide. She wrote this piece to destigmatize abortion and to offer a story of strength and hope to women and men alike. a desire to meet its mother; Reactions to this song have been divided. more by Gabrielle Kruger. This is your decision and you must do what feels right for you. She comes to me in my dreams at least once a week. I want to experience the excitement of my first day at school Thank you for this. Because o hate that its a decision. She is a very strong woman but this is killing her slowly and I dont know how to help. I dont want one. I want this baby, but I know financially we wouldnt be able to afford it. I was extremely saddened by the Feb. 18 Buffalo News article concerning the 36 actresses who intended to spend hours reading from "The Handmaid's Tale" to benefit . Immediately after I felt relief that I was not constantly nauseous and I could eat again. Our hearts held firm. I didnt want to be, but I had a hard time standing up to him and saying no for myself. She told me he has a live in girlfriend for 6 years and the girl has a 10 year old son that is not his but he helped raise. Have a good day. Realizing it is her choice and respecting her decision has been rough but weve grown these past few weeks. I dont have the financial capability to take care of a child. to NOT have to make this decision. It took me months to get back to normal, probably because of the hormones, and I got severely depressed and anxious. I wish I could advise a podcast or supportive tv bit for her to watch. I have an appointment at planned Parenthood in 6 days and a doctors appointment tomorrow. I want to help the conversation start on a different platform and educate. My significant other is leaving the decision to me and will support either way it goes but I just dont know what to do. I want more than anything to be a mom. Youre still with me, and Im grateful for that too. I realize this is an odd place to share this information, and I am in a much different situation now, but several years ago my partner and I struggled through severe male factor infertility when TTC my youngest. If you cant, then dont be guilty. She gave her baby girl up for adoption, and now that baby is an adult. I just wanted to say thank-you for sharing your story. I have to go through a second one and I dont know what to do. Share Your Story Here. Thank you for sharing your story. That exact day I started bleeding I went to the ER and they said I might miscarry again I told him and he is convinced I am going to lose the baby. Mamma you knew when I was placed in your womb. I dont know how I got to this point of being so mistreated and lost. That is a beautiful thought and may have helped me make my decision . The pain in my gut has not gone away. I too, am at the beginning of my career and am receiving more opportunities to advance as well but I have a long way to go. Me and my boyfriend have our own issues and this time he wanted me to keep this baby but I told him Im not ready to become a mother. I am a teacher and take care of infants to two year olds, Im devastated because in a better situation I would have kept this child. Regardless of the decision you make its a life long one so be very sure. Now that he had finally accepted it, it officially became reality. And sent a special angel to look after me I just broke up with my boyfriend 4 days ago after finding out that he has been cheating on me.Deep down I knew that I was pregnant after 20 days late of my periods and my breasts becoming tender.Today I Decided to take the test and found out that Im Pregnant.I lost my mother a year ago and do not have anyone who will support me and the baby financially.It hurts that Weve always had conversations about having a baby one daday,now that it is happening and Im all alone,I feel like a stupid.termination is the only option but I dont even know What to expect. Thank you so much for writing posting this just hope and pray that one day I will get a chance to be a mom again. All I could say was 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry, baby, I'm sorry.' As a mother, you never, ever, ever forget. I dont feel like he was there for me as he should. I got an abortion 6 days ago. I need advice from someone, anyone. Youre still with me, and Im grateful for that too. I dont know if you have lived in regret or relief of your abortion before this moment, or what feelings his opinions have risen out of you now- all I know is what you decided to do with your pregnancy, whether that involved him ten years ago or not, was your decision. **** Truth is ive been crying my eyes out i am on birth control always on time with my pills. How difficult this truly The baby has been name Baby Amanda Marie, for the name Amanda means "she who ought to be loved." Not how I thought I would live my life. It would have been too early to know the sex for sure but when I think of her I feel her and I know she was my baby girl your not alone, whatever you feel, your not alone. 'Dear Mommy' So begins the correspondence from an unborn baby to her mother. X. Whats crazy is this exact story is mines (not in reality but figuratively) I literally did everything she did, said everything she said. Participate in the campaign: "All AGAINST ABORTION!" We sleep in the same room that night, and the next day he drives me to work. The film is based on a story called "A Letter from an Aborted Child," which had been used for nearly 10 years by Father Stephen Lesniewski to show women in a time of indecision. I am currently 5 months pregnant with my child. It would be my second but he has children from a previous marriage. Me too A M, August the 30th. Guess what? I felt very depressed after I let you go - many days were hard to face, some I didn't. I told myself it was hormones. We agonized over what to do and spent a week making our decision which whilst incredibly painful was ultimately the right one for us. Im grateful I was in a position to have options and make a choice as a woman. I pray for you, and your baby. My pregnancy was miserable I was depressed and anxious all the time and often wondered if I made the right choice but the day my son was born I knew I made the right choice. I was shocked. This moved me. We are both unhappy . Heartache and emptiness daily. i know my baby will be returned to me, someday. I know I would feel his kicks by now. Starving, I told him. According to The Mirror, a mother explained how she would be relieved if her third child died in their sleep because she was too afraid to get an abortion when she was pregnant as the pregnancy . Im ready,but am I really ready? Thank you for writing this. And try my hardest at everything I do. I told my baby it may have to be just me and him. In the last twenty minutes of my lunch break, I walked to Walgreens and bought the test thinking the employees must assume Im really irresponsible (I guess I was?). Not because I want to but because I feel I HAVE to. From a mother's letter to her aborted child: "It's been a decade and still my blood runs cold and I catch my breath whenever I hear the word " abortion." Space there is an emptiness inside of me that can never be filled, a chill that has never quite been warned, a grief that will Continue reading "A Mother's Letter to Her Aborted Baby" Maybe you're frightened. I feel I would regret it everyday for the rest of my life. But tbh, by that point in our unhealthy relationship I had enough resentments of my own towards him to really care much. I pull out a second test with two pink lines, that I took while on the phone with my sister this time in the apartment, this time repeating different expletives. Im struggling with my decision and I almost wish someone could just make it for me. I havent gone one day without thinking of it and causing major heartache, especially as family members and friend have now kids. She and her boyfriend are claiming that, if they could go back in time, they would have kept it. If you can't take My partner said he would support me either way but I knew deep down to him it might as well have been the end of the world. When I told him I was pregnant the first thing he said is lets get a chicken sandwhich. But like you said, when i see those two pink lines again, i know it will be my baby coming back to me. All the best. How are you coping? Please Mommy, don't let them hurt me- The connection happened from day one. After a further 2 weeks things started to settle down. A Letter to the Girl Who's Considering an Abortion March 25, 2021 by Lindsay Smith Hi Sweet Girl, I don't need to know your name or look into your eyes, and I don't need to have been where you find yourself tonight to know that you're terrified and in pain. I couldnt talk to him about keeping it because he would panic and and say it wasnt plausible anytime I showed attachment. I did an abortion 10 years ago and never disclosed to my them boyfriend who is now my husband. I regret my decision so much and cannot put it into words. I dont know what to do at all. I cant share any of this with him. I feel like regardless if I keep our baby or not he is not going to be apart of my life anymore. I was a 19 year old college student with absolutely no plans to marry or have kids at that point. In my mind, Ive raised a child on my own, and even with all the struggles, raising her has been the most rewarding experience ever. Sometimes I think about taking my life and then I think about my daughter . My boyfriend was completely supportive of me and even now when I talk about the baby he knows that it makes me feel better. Just not now. The abortion will be via the pill (which I think is an awfully ironic name for it). My husband has made this time incredibly difficult for me. Its been 3 months since my abortion. That's exactly what I need to do for you. I havent spoken to my parents yet. The abortion debate has been going on for ages. And I was supposedly either unable to conceive or it would be extremely difficult. I love this man but i dont want a baby now and i feel the worst human being in this world for thinking that way. Yes, he did everything he was supposed to and yes the tests afterwards declared him sterile. Its not being selfish if you think about it deeper. One abortion opponent testified that people in her life had . Now it is 3 months later and I always find myself looking at bassinets and baby items. Now I m just waiting for my appointment but I feel so shit , down and gonna cry all the time. This broke him completely when I got the abortion done. Abortion - Pro Life - Letter From an Unborn Child Letter from an unborn child As falling rain is the tears of God for the blood spilled of the unborn children that covers the hands of the human race. My husband is pretty headstrong about me aborting.. my heart is broken. I am with someone now and he is lovely. Sophie R. Pregnancy Poems I came from foster care and was 19 when I became pregnant. Whitney. I cant seem to decide on this but I know I have to do it And Ive been crying the past few days because I know I dont want to be separated from my first baby but I cant.. Putting the baby first. Don't Forget That I Was Here By I know what I will do and why I feel it is the best choice I can make, but I will never forget this little tiny creature that has visited me and wanted so much to be my family, as I so wanted to be hers/his. I swallow hard several times until the pill burrows into the back of my throat like a rock. He would have been 7 and his name was Dyno. I didnt want him to be there for me or my baby out of obligation, I wanted him to be happy. Dont forget the chips! I waited for him on the couch in our front room, digging my thumb into the ridge of my index finger on both hands. Im working on it though. It hurts the relationship with my husband, and we are about to be separated as we cannot communicate anymore. My husband does not want another child. I was a late-in-life baby, the fourth child born when my mom was 42 in 1959. My younger half sister is also pregnant with a girl which I always thought I would have. Please don't cry, remember that I love you and I'll be waiting for you with open arms. She is planning to keep the baby because she doesnt think she could handle the depression that would follow an abortion. I just wanted to let you know that the decision I made was very painful and still hurts at times but that it does get easier especially if you know you made it for the right reasons. I regret my decision every day. Were you touched by this poem? I still wonder what if. Long story short Im 26 now, engaged to my partner for the last 5 years. Congratulations! The heavy burden and guilt that I felt each day makes me question myself why I did came to that point, if I was careful enough to not make mistake. WASHINGTON The Biden administration on Monday told hospitals that they "must" provide abortion services if the life of the mother is at risk, saying federal law on emergency treatment. But I begged her not to go, I pleaded at times crying on the phone. I always thought she would come back to me somehow but only in my sleeping dreams and waking thoughts. I cry also. I want to be respectful and listen to people who have been through the same as me. Baby. But I already feel connected and cry so hard every time I think of letting it go. My heart would of gotten excited despite starting all over again. A Hand Yet To Hold By And chips. I still was no where near ready for how much my life would have to change. I have too many dreams to fulfill and after the abortion i literally have 200 dollars in my bank account. Published by Family Friend Poems March 2017 with permission of the author. But I dont want an abortion.. its heartbreaking ? I hope you are healing well and have found happiness in other areas of life, until you and your unborn baby see each other again. One day you will be an amazing mum, dont doubt that! I pray one day my baby will cone back to me. After decades of keeping her . I was asked to write this poem by a friend whose niece was distraught because she was pregnant and was addicted to drugs. It takes courage to share your story, especially with so much honesty. I feel like Im losing either way; if I get an abortion, Ill most likely regret it, and if I dont, Ill struggle as a single mother. I love him I know I do but I also know he does not feel the same way for me. Once my ears have developed properly, My advice to you would be to remember that at the end of the day, and your life, you have to be able to live with yourself, so forget about what your partner wants and do what is right for you. it didnt take him long to move past but its something I struggle with frequently in the form of nightmares and guilt. I just dont know what to do!!! Your situation is mine. I wish I could have kept him/her. I was overjoyed but crushed the next day after he told me we werent ready and that I should get rid of it. Mark Ruffalo spoke out on reproductive rights this weekend, penning a letter in support of a woman's right to choose. Marni Fults. The subject presents itself fairly often and I am at a loss. An Ohio lawmaker proposing a near-total abortion ban was given a hypothetical: A 13-year-old girl is raped and becomes pregnant as a result. Thank you so much for this. And I cry every single day. Breaks my heart. Each holiday, any milestone or time marker, what my world would be if I had chosen differently. I just recently started a new job and I want to progress. Some in the anti-abortion movement use the song, or . She is 23, theyve been together 6 months and shes not ready for such a huge commitment. This experience has done extraordinary things to me so far i have softened and really felt into my feminine. I also feel like taking that risk, that my baby is worth the sacrifice. It's me. My daughter was only 800g when she was born, stayed in NICU for 3 month. He now know about it and wants to end our marriage of 4 years. We were told if we wanted children we would have to make a concerned effort. Im up and down about it all. My periods had always been very irregular and I had taken over the counter tests when it got late but I got negatives the both times so I was certain I wasnt pregnant. Hi. I said this is the hormones speaking and she did the right thing. I live with my boyfriend hes 39yrs old. March 8, 2014 at 4:36 pm. Oh mommy, I can't go on anymore help me 17 years have gone by since you made that fateful decision. And then we came back home. What if I was never able to get back on track with school and start my career? Oh Mommy please, just give me a chance I just keep crying. Constant regret and pain . Then I panicked more I hadnt even thought about how I had a choice to make, and how this didnt only involve me, it involved your dad, too. But i wanted to say thank-you because your post was something i came across before i went in for my abortion and it brought me to tears. This is not a fictional story. I found out I was pregnant the same day I was supposed to get an IUD inserted. But heres the problem, my husband and I are happily married. My decision to have an abortion was a major fork in the road of my life. I felt like he had to know it is his right to know. No baby should be murdered by its mother. I just went through having to make a decision as well. I am nearly 25 now and had an abortion at 17. Your dad is an alcoholic. I am so sorry you had to go through this. Shes only known her boyfriend for 3 months and now they are contemplating a forever type of future together to raise this child. Not as alone because feeling my baby every night move around gives me hope. I dont want to go through an abortion again. My mother killed me. I am so sad that I will never meet that child, but I also know that it would have been less than what we all deserved. I dont want having another baby to be detrimental to my current children and cant help think that it will be. I know Im going to love him when he is here but in the time being I am just purely struggling. Gone by The Head and The Heart plays, and I publicly cry at the lyric Gone are the days when the wind would touch my face, gone are the days when youre the wind. Even if i dont want an abortion, i have to do it for my future and my boyfriends future. It wasnt the right time and the best way to move forward is by working to build a life in which you can raise a child in the future. It is sad to see children God has made being murdered. I had not passed my probation period and I wanted to prove myself, to be as good as I could be. Im 9 weeks pregnant. I want a burrito. I found out Im 6 weeks pregnant last week. Love to each of you xxxxxxxxx. Im so confused. All I can think about is that Ill no longer be able to turn to her when I feel like doing something that stupid teenagers do. it really makes my decision i made 10 months ago seem like the right one. He says if i get an abortion we must split that Hell respect my decision but we cannot continue together. As a minor in highschool who lives with her boyfriend (of 2 years), I had to have a termination back in September after finding out I was pregnant days before the dads birthday (Aug. 28). God has forgiven you and you should try and forgive yourself. Wish I had a way to contact you personally. When I had my daughter, he unfortunately couldnt be there and I raised her on my own until she was about 6 years old. Since I found out I was pregnant my life has been a living hell my husband immediately voiced we couldnt handle this right now, and though I was emotional about it at first, I knew he was right. According to a webpage shared online by Crump, she has raised over $30,000 by Friday morning and will seek abortion care in North Carolina. He had a vasectomy and yet I ended up pregnant again. The situation was messy and It all feels like a blur now. I'm still alive. I told myself there was no way i could be pregnant. He started to be excited about the idea of starting a family with me and even though we were both stressed and both cried a lot.. we finally started having discussions about moving in together, getting better jobs finding a healthcare provider and all types of different things to prepare for our baby.