Im never a selfish person but when it comes to sharing you with other peopleI dont think so. Robert Paul. John Milton, The Devils Advocate. But he minded his own business.. Required fields are marked *. "hand me another one" he ate that too, " hand me one more" and he ate it. Everyone will be happy when they see them, as they will raise their moods. Mel Gibson, Chocolate is the greatest gift to women ever created, next to the likes of Paul Newman and Gene Kelly. There was a sign next to it saying, "what ever you wish for comes true once you slide down". Half dark and half light chocolate. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say . He swings by every year to make sure that we are doing ok". The electricians favorite ice cream flavor is shock-a-lot. . A chocolate chip cutie! Chocolate chimp! All Rights Reserved. So, eat lots of chocolate! It must have been so dark I didnt see the other one. Whos there? Youll find here clean chocolate jokes and puns for chocolate lovers that you can share with everyone like your parents, school teacher, etc. You and me are the perfect batch. I only wanted a weeks supply of sweets instead I got a lifetime supply because I got you. Anything is good and useful if its made of chocolate. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don't come running to . The divine drink, which builds up resistance and fights fatigue. EMERGENCY ALERT: If wearer of this shirt is found vacant, listless, or depressed, ADMINISTER CHOCOLATE IMMEDIATELY. Needless to sayHe got his Snickers in a Twix.Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate.The first one pulled the second one out.The second one said, Thanks, youre a lifesaver!The first one responded, Actually, Im a KitKat.I saw an article about people snorting chocolate powder for a rush.They wanted a Quik high. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable. . . I feel the rush upon eating chocolate whenever I hold your hand. 2. TheLaughFactory. We have plenty of pickupline ideas about chocolate for you to use. Yo mamma so fat, when she walked out of candy land there was nothing left! One thats choco-lit! Baby, I badly wanted to be the drizzle to your banana and strawberries. The best of all worlds. Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. Everyone got a piece. Why was the candy bar confused? There are a few things we can always count on when were having a bad day, but chocolate is one of them! Please accept the terms of our newsletter. Dear I would pour all the sweetness I have in my body towards you to make you happy. 145 Short Dirty Jokes That Bring More Adult Humor, 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side, 155 Best Wedding Jokes to Kick off Your Speech, 160 Hilarious Wife Jokes to Spark Joy in Your Marriage, 150 Hilarious Train Jokes to Engineer Laughs on Your Face, 150 Hilarious Tree Jokes to Fresh Your Mind, 152 Hilarious Wine Jokes to Make Conversation More Enjoyable, 151 Hilarious Tomato Jokes That Are So Juicy. After about 20 years of marriage, Im finally starting to scratch the surface of that one [what women want]. Whats the difference between a cow that makes regular milk and a cow that makes chocolate milk? Tap To Copy. Counselor Deanna Troi, Star Trek: The Next Generation. I would gladly love what you sweet foods just to get to your heart. Copy This. When it's the pope's turn, he asks: "Do you know about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?" Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. Well, jokes about chocolate can be funny or at least mildly amusing. You gave us the Wookiees, you gave us the thrills, you gave us the Adam Driver memes, and you gave us the spills. The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy is an American animated television series created by Maxwell Atoms for Cartoon Network.The series originally premiered as segments of Grim & Evil on August 24, 2001. Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe. What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? Put it in the microwave. How dairy, who? It sprinkles. Bad knees.. 1. One kid stepped up and slid down, he wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river. Theres definitely a change it does to the chemistry of the body. There was a convertible. Are you Kit Kat, because I am going to break you and eat you. How dairy! A Candy Baa. They had a baby, Ruth. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you. The bank of friendship cannot exist for long without deposits of chocolate. Game for some sexy chocolate jokes? Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex: And then, he wished he could be irresistible to all women Poof! The pope retorts "Chocolates? Eat a square meal a day a box of chocolate. If you believe that, you REALLY need to meet that special someone who can change your mind. I was going to get you a box of chocolates, but you already have a sweeter box. Chocolate Jokes Dirty Jokes dirty What is a monkey's favorite cookie? 1940s-early 1960s [ edit] Cora: A brown-haired girl who appeared only in single-page comic strips in the 1960s. You make my heart melt faster than hot chocolate. Candy who? You know youre a chocoholic if, when the leaves change in the fall, you start gathering Almond Joy candy bars for the coming winter. - Jack Whitehall. 55 Hilarious Movie Jokes That Will Make You Binge, 97 Funny Animal Jokes From Zoo Animals, Dogs and of course, Cats. I think of that again and again! Mr. Good I am all for chocolate and falling in love with you. Too much of a good thing is simply wonderful! So, without wasting the time, lets enjoy these jokes. Because I am returning this cake cause I realize youre enough. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! Sweetie I can be your sweets in this world full of bitter people. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie? "Chocolate, please," replied the youngster. - You are never too young or too old for chocolate. When the going gets tough, the tough eat chocolate. Kids and chocolate go together like peanut butter and jelly. Chalk, who? I cannot think of anything sweeter than chocolate than oops of course there is you! Because you are the only one that can satisfy me. My favorite is the old man trying to get to the chocolate chip cookies. @. Are you Kit Kat, because I am going to break you and eat you. the best of dirty verbal jokes that will coil your toes , take up the challenge not to laugh, try not to laugh, *wink wink*. TheLaughFactory. Baby I am only tempted by two things: you and chocolate. Its not that chocolates are a substitute for love. - You can have chocolate at any time of the month. The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?". 1. Because she was a Her-She-y bar! First, invade ze kitchen. Whats nice and petite, with chocolate in the middle? Lincoln replied.if you are my wife I'll gladly drink it. - You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate. Bagel Jokes. What do you get when you cross beer with a chocolate bar? Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. Add love and sweet chocolate to your romantic life today. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. You never know what youre going to get when you open a box of chocolates. now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); I hope your having gelato fun on your birthday! Chocolate has also been called the food of the devil, but the theological basis of this claim is obscure. A balanced diet consists of items from the five major food groups: dairy, grains, meats, fruits/vegetables, and chocolate. I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. A: Ask him to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms. Did you hear about the affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? Boy: Oh I can't believe that Jesus is so sweet! A Choco-Light! You are the surprise I wanted to get more than I want chocolate. - Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft. I asked him where he got that from.He said, I always have a few Twix up my sleeve.Theyve unearthed a sarcophagus in Egypt filled with chocolate and nutsThe mummy was wrapped in gold foil, so they believe it is the legendary Pharaoh Rocher.I identify as a chocolate barMy pronouns are her/she.What kind of chocolate does the dryer like?Lindt Chocolate.A mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts has been discovered in EgyptArchaeologists and historians believe it must be Pharoah Roche. If only the sweets tastes like you then I would definitely start to love them. If you were ice cream and i was chocolate sauce, I'd pour my love all over you! Are you chocolate pudding, because I want to spoon you all night long. The jamaican mon said "check the guyanese pockets and yuh find all three a dem" Which candy bar is handsome, talented, rich, and lacks for nothing? He had a chip in his tooth. Im not overweight, just chocolate enriched. Monster House. But he minded his own business.Why did the chocolate bar go to the dentist?He had a chip in his tooth.Why is a Toblerone triangular?So it fits in the box.There are two types of people in this world:People who love chocolate and liars.What is the opposite of Chocolate?Chocoearly.What Christmas carol do candy bars sing?Almond Joy To The World.Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?Because it lost its filling! "Take only one. What are the 4 major food groups? Almond Joy To The World. We've got all kinds of funniest dirty minded jokes covering from the nasty dark humor to toilet humor as well. What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? Religion These cute and funny Valentine's Day sayings are sweeter than chocolate and guaranteed to make your loved ones (both kids and adults) LOL all day long. Are you Hershey's chocolate? Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? Your site is very interesting. I saw a joke about chocolate bars but it wasn't that funny So I just snickered. Here are 50 funny Elf jokes, including Elf jokes for kids. I said, "Look you little Reese's Pieces, don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. !. (Grandparent Jokes & Dog Jokes) Why was the Grinch afraid of Santa Claus?. My final hope for a smokin' hot body! The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale. French cleric, 1620, Just think of all the wonderful blessings youve been given. Why? Friend 2: Well, untill you live, you could go to Africa, and after you die, say to God that you've already been to hell. Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, Saturday Night Live, As with most fine things, chocolate has its season. You can taek-won-do.Why is the Toblerone chocolate shaped like a triangle?So that itll fit inside the box.In case you were wondering, chocolate identifies as female.Preferred pronouns are Her/she.I ordered a chocolate clock from Amazon a few months ago and it hasnt arrived yet.Boy, its taking its sweet time getting here.People always ask me how I sneak chocolate into the cinema.WellIve got a few Twix up my sleeve.I once saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg.I said to him, I bet I could guess your favourite holiday!He replied, Have to love Easter, baby.Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates.Theyll kill your dog.I love chocolate.Hard candy is for suckers.I put my friends chocolate bars in different wrappers. What is a monkeys favorite cookie? These chocolate knock-knock jokes are sure to put a smile on your face. There are only three things in life that matter good friends, good chocolate and, oh dear, what was that other one? You're the milk to my cookie. If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Egg Jokes. A study says that chocolate may lower your chances of a stroke. 7. My wife hates it when I swap her chocolate bar wrappers around. A Mars bar. 4. Knock knock! - If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind. Darling you are enough sweet for me. Because I want you to spread for my satisfaction tonight. Feel free to come to my inbox and share your thoughts! So, as weird as it sounds, memes really can help you to fight the coronavirus. You're a chip off the old block (of cookie dough). I Heard Cadbury Are going to Make An Oriental Chocolate Bar Family Game: Do you really know your Family? The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?". Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. Where did the chocolate couple stay for their honeymoon? And then, he wished he could be irresistible to all women Poof! Whos there? Any sane person loves chocolate. It will not make you pregnant. Sure enough, nine months later, out popped? Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar beets. Cao-cao!On a cold and gray Chicago mornin where was another little baby chocolate bar born?In the Gateaux (ghetto)!What do you get when you cross a red racing car, nuts, and chocolate?A Ferrari Rocher!Why did the chocolate-hazelnut truffle stand out in a crowd?He was nutty!What type of cookies do they eat in the Galaxy?Chocolate Chewbacca cookies!Which candy bar is handsome, talented, rich, and lacks for nothing?A Bounty-ful!Which candy bar always gets picked first for the sports team?A Skor!What do three men and fluffy nougat covered in chocolate have in common?3 Musketeers!Which is the clumsiest candy bar?A Butterfinger!What kind of jokes do funny chocolate bars not crack?Ones about Easter eggs theyre morbid!Which is a chocoholics favorite kind of party?One thats choco-lit!What do you get when you cross beer with a chocolate bar?A Choco-Light!Why did the candy bar cross the road?Because he was choco-LATE for the bus!What chocolate bar never laughs at jokes?Snickers he only snickers!What do you call an extra sweet cookie?A chocolate chip cutie!What do you get when you enrobe a sheep in chocolate?A candy baaaaa-r!Why was the candy bar confused?Because she was a Her-She-y bar!What occasion do cute chocolate bars look forward to all month?PayDay! We allow other website publishers to quote small snippets of text. Comedy Central. Chocolate is, lets face it, far more reliable than a man. If you will allow me I would like to consume you everyday because I like the taste of you. Shock-o-lat. Its nice that if I want something sweet I wont ever have to hold back cause I have you. What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? I love a man with chocolate on his breath. The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?" What did the M&M go to college? With these dirty chocolate jokes, youll make your lady smile. Babe I am so happy to see you, and this is definitely not a chocolate bar in my pants. Seduced by the chocolate side of the Force. Your email address will not be published. In deaths agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. When no one understands you, chocolate is there. Q: What do cannibals eat for dessert? Feel better now? Roald Dahl, Just as bees will swarm about to protect their nest, so will I swarm about to protect my nest of chocolate eggs. Check it out. When the old man returned, the young man felt guilty and confessed to taking the peanuts. I told my girlfriend that if she wanted her Hersheys bar she had to bark like a dog. I used to hate sweets but I came to love those because of you. Baron Justus von Liebig (1803-1873), German chemist, The superiority of chocolate, both for health and nourishment, will soon give it the same preference over tea and coffee in America which it has in Spain. I dont really get the jokes funny at all! The male whale recognized the ship that caught his dad whale a year ago. Life is a like a box of chocolates, and I cannot imagine my life without you. Chocolate JokesWhat did the M&M go to college?Because he wanted to be a Smarty.What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?Chocolate Chip Wookiee.Whats Snoop Doggs favourite chocolate bar?Sniggas.What does a box of chocolate and life have in common?They dont last long for fat people.Whats the difference between a cow that makes regular milk and a cow that makes chocolate milk?A mootation.My Ex-Wife was like a box of chocolate.Everyone got a piece.Why did people make white chocolate?So black kids could get dirty faces too.When it comes to stealing chocolate barsI have a couple twix up my sleeve.Kids these days are so stupid.They actually believe Ive got chocolate in my van. Were it not for deaths agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven: there, spread out on the kitchen table, were hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like pure Almond Joy! My tongue still craves your kind of sweet baby. A man found a bottle on the beach. ( Ice Cream Jokes) What one thing became more clear as you got older?. The police are trying to catch him, but hes always got a few Twix up his sleeve! ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. What is a French cats favorite dessert? C? Who doesnt love chocolate? Chocolate covered aunts. 0 Laughs. Put eat chocolate at the top of your list of things to do today. What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? When the three kids discover that a . He was nutty! A cup of this precious drink permits a man to walk for a whole day without food. Laugh more: 87 Car Jokes That Will Drive You Crazy. My love for you is like hot chocolate, I just cant hold on to it. - Chocolate Joke [2] Jokes 4 Us - Chocolate Joke [3] Fun Kids Jokes - Chocolate Joke [4] Worst Jokes Ever - Chocolate Joke [5] MyTownTutors - Chocolate Joke [6] SuperJokes - Chocolate Joke [7] Ireland Calling - Chocolate Joke A Ferrari Rocher! Thats why Ive collected a list of best chocolate jokes for you. So noble a confection, more than nectar & ambrosia, the true food of the gods. To bake Star Wars bread, you have to use the bicarbonate of Yoda. . Dont you think having you and sweet food in my life is redundant? My day got sprinkled with love! Chocolates are an excellent energy-booster, but they go extremely wild when kids have overeaten. my favorite is the m&m racist oe lol why are there no white m&ms. Knock knock! Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); She asked me if I was into M&M, but I said, "Hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff." I cant resist to use my tongue in eating this ice cream just like I cant when Im eating you. Patrick Skene Catling. Some of those jokes are dirty jokes (never appropriate but) always funny. Im sure chocolate lovers like thesefunny chocolate jokes! A moo-tation.Whats an electricians least favourite ice cream flavour? Snickers he only snickers! What does that have to do with anything?" Kuhtuhluh Report. I want to lick your body the way I would lick anything with chocolate. Sooner or later I will get diabetes because of your sweetness. A chocolate pun! What do you call an avalanche of marshmallows, nuts, and chocolate? Are you a chocolate bunny, because I want to nibble on your ears first than eat you full. What Christmas carol do candy bars sing? Milk Jokes. You look sad, let me sprinkle some of good vibes at you baby. Hey girl can you be the candy sprinkles to my ice cream? Cacao. "nobody cya tief like me! I do not like sweets but I would gladly eat them just to get close to you. The man wished for a million dollars, and poof! Knock Knock! Given enough chocolate and coffee, I could rule the world. I can definitely make an adjustment for you. (Ideas should be clear and chocolate thick.) We suggest to use only working chocolate chocolate milk piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Obviously all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens so they set up a meeting with our new visitors. It was discovered that he had a cavity that would have to be filled. Ready for some chocolate jokes? With labored breath, he leaned against the door, gazing into the kitchen. Dont you think you have got to check if you have diabetes? A Candy Baa. Baby I badly wanted to be the drizzle to your banana and strawberries. Coffee, chocolate, men some things are just better rich. Q: Why do complete morons hate M&Ms? There is a simple memory aid that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time to order chocolate dishes: any month whose name contains the letter A, E, or U is the proper time for chocolate. Pizza, Coffee, Chocolate and Sex. Taureano Ent says: August 13, 2019 at 2:00 pm A guy is sitting at the doctor's office. Maria. What do you call a womanising chocolate? by Taureano Ent January 12, 2020, 6:39 am 1.6k Views 3 Comments. Its my favorite feeling. Baby I would trade the entire candy bar in the world for you. #2. Telling deez nuts jokes is a funny way to direct a conversation into utter nonsense! MOVIE URBAN LEGEND: Roald Dahl hid a dirty joke in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is a beloved children's film and one of the things that people definitely love about it is how edgy the whole thing is. Every jokes so funny I am enjoying your jokes and best of luck for new jokes. Mostly disappointing. Yeah, as luck would have it, she started to grow Chunky and complained of a Cadbury Egg in her stomach. So we've rounded up 30+ of the best chocolate jokes, puns, useless facts, and one-liners you . What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? It was Terry-vying.I like to break the rules once I had an After Eight at seven-thirty.Ive got three Mars bars, two Lion Bars, a Twix and a Flake. Were I to impregnate you, in several years the child will purchase you flowers and chocolates. My tongue still craves your kind of sweet baby. Who doesnt love Hershey chocolate jokes? I dont understand why so many so called chocolate lovers complain about the calories in chocolate, when all true chocoholics know that it is a vegetable.